What Makes a Great Online Dating Profile?
We can express emotional validation by paying attention to them, acknowledging that what they feel is real, reflecting back what we have heard them say, expressing our sorrow or anger about what they’ve experienced, and asking questions about what you can do to support them. Pay attention to the present moment: It can be hard to hear about a loved one’s suffering. Sometimes we disengage, become distracted, jump into problem-solving mode, or change the subject because it’s distressing to listen to a partner’s distress. With practice, you can monitor, become aware of, and accept your own feelings even as you calmly listen to another. We adapted meditations from mindfulness practitioners and researchers including Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Nhat Hanh in our couples interventions and there are many more available on the web. Spend time with your loved ones in valued activities: This is a staple of couple therapies such as integrative behavioral couple therapy and may seem like a common-sense solution. But spending quality time with loved ones is more difficult when our attention is split between working from home, homeschooling and caregiving, managing a variety of pandemic-related stressors, and leisure activities.imlive bad Recall your values and make appointments in your calendars for mutually valued activities. The positive feelings that come from these activities will sustain you both. Limits to listening To be sure, we have our limits when listening to another person’s pain. Even our most tolerant and loving partners may not be able to respond the way we hope. This might be because they need to decompress. In this case, it may be wise to seek out others who share your situation or circumstances for peer support. And if you are the listener, and you feel overwhelmed by another’s pain, it’s important to take care of yourself and let them know that you are not able to give them what they need. And if you or your loved one discloses that they are feeling so down that they are thinking of harming themselves, it’s time to seek emergency support.
For those of us sharing the good, the bad and the ugly with loved ones during this pandemic, let’s recognize that we have much to be grateful for our relationships, however socially distant we have to be right now. This time of great stress will eventually pass and we will be out and about again. Practice relational flexibility to ensure that you and your loved ones will enjoy that happy day together. About the author: Annmarie Cano received funding for some of the work cited in this essay from the National Institutes of Health/National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. Read the original article here — https://theconversation.com/how-to-listen-to-your-loved-ones-with-empathy-when-you-yourself-are-feeling-the-strain-of-social-distancing-136377 Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook629Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating It’s quite demanding to stay healthy today with so many commitments and constantly rushing from one thing to the next thing. But, there are ways to change your life for the better and adopt habits that are beneficial to you both. In a relationship, you share the good and the bad with your partner making your bond stronger and nurturing. Well, the same applies to staying healthy in your relationship and thriving together since you will give each other a boost. This mutual support will encourage you to finally say goodbye to bad habits, get in shape and spend quality time together.
Be active together Spending time outdoors is good for both mental and physical health, but also it will give you a chance to spend time completely with each other. Go running together in the park or on walks after dinner around the neighborhood. If there is a national park nearby, go on a day-long hike or ride a bike while having a picnic on the hilltop overlooking the whole area. During winter, you can go swimming together at the local pool or play tennis and squash in the enclosed fields. Active holidays are very trendy so book a destination that is full of wonderful landscapes to explore on hiking tours. Moreover, you can try some extreme sports together as well like skydiving and paragliding, or simply try something new like rollerblading or surfing. Basically, no matter in what kind of shape you are currently in, there is a myriad of activities you can do together and not only improve your health but also have fun. Share a hobby A hobby is a great way to spend time together and stay healthy in your relationship.
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They are exciting and important for thriving together through learning new skills and creating. You will both learn more about each other or discover new interests together that will make your relationship flourish and be stronger. Dancing is the most common hobby with couples, although other activities are catching up like gardening and bowling. Playing video games and blogging is popular among the younger couples although there is no age limit when it comes to these two.
You can read the same novel and make your little book club or join the real one and participate in discussions with others. Playing board games, cards and Yahtzee is something you can include your friends and family in, or play just the two of you. Don’t bottle up your emotions Hiding emotions from each other leads to stress and creates a strain on the relationship. Furthermore, it can lead to sleeping problems, eating disorders and depression which can seriously affect your health. The best solution for this is talking. Confide in your partner and tell them about your worries, problems, and thoughts. And do the same for them. Have a heart-to-heart with each other and just listen to each other. Create a safe zone where you can both express yourselves without being judged or criticized. Sometimes, all a person needs to feel better is a sympathetic ear and understanding.
Eat healthy together Food has a pivotal role in human life. It gives energy and nutrients necessary for the body to function properly, as well as plays a part in weight management. These are all the reasons while you should eat healthy although that is sometimes really tough to do. Lack of time to prepare meals and buy fresh ingredients makes people choose easier ways to feed like fast food or skipping breakfast. There are many ways to deal with this and start eating healthy if you partner up. You can order healthy meal plans like My Muscle Chef so you don’t have to cook after work. For breakfast, make delicious smoothies or share the preparations so you both will have enough time to get ready and eat together. When it comes to grocery shopping, make a list and go to the store together which may be an unconventional date but you will have time to talk and hash out your day. Be each other’s fitness buddies Regular physical activity is an important factor in a person’s health but not the easiest one to start with. However, with a buddy system, everything is easier and partners can give each other boost, inspiration, and support necessary to stay fit and healthy with fitness. The best way is to start small and exercise at home first to get used to this type of obligation.
Yoga is perfect for couples since it doesn’t require a lot of room and will give you both a good stretch for the day ahead. If you decide to go to the gym, you can encourage each other when it gets tough and always be there as a support to continue exercising. Since your partner is someone you don’t want to disappoint that will give you a boost to stay on course with the workout and don’t quit. Kick-off bad habits together Bad habits like smoking or sugar can take a serious toll on your health. Heart problems, diabetes, and cancer are only some of the serious conditions that are caused by living an unhealthy lifestyle. But, bad habits are not easy to kick off and people who do can easily relapse. However, having a partner is a wonderful way to quit vice you have and embrace a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, you should both kick off your bad habits at the same time and be each other’s support through a tough time.
For example, if your partner is longing for a cigarette, take them for a walk to boost the production of feel-good hormones like serotonin.https://topadultreview.com/ Always remind each other how good you are doing and even prepare presents for the smallest of milestones to celebrate your strength and determination. Finally Staying healthy in your relationship and thriving together is good for the couples on an individual level as well. It will build confidence, self-esteem, and self-image thanks to positive effects on your body and mind. That way you will be a better partner, as well as grow as a person and improve yourself. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook9Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: happiness, healthy, relationship, Thriving Together When I was in college, I would absolutely dread family gatherings because I knew at least one of my relatives would ask me, “Who are you dating now?” And I’d have to grit my teeth into a smile and tell them I was still single. Then they’d ask a question that kept me up at night — why? Why am I single? Well, gee, I guess attending college has made me a hideous undateable monster, thanks for asking, Aunt Connie! In most ways, college was one of the best times of my life — I just didn’t happen to date very much during it. Maybe it was because I set my standards too high.
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Maybe it was because I didn’t join many clubs or go to many parties. Or maybe it was just something that happened.
Being single isn’t always something you have control over, but sometimes your actions and attitudes can lead to you staying single, even if you don’t even realize it. You have to examine yourself with an objective and critical eye to decide if you’re actually choosing to stay single for one reason or another. Here are some clues that your single status is more about your choices and less about external factors. You quit or never tried online dating Online dating has quickly become one of the most popular ways for singles to meet one another. If you’re single and you’ve never tried online dating before, that’s on you. It’s well worth giving online dating a try before you throw in the towel and declare yourself forever single. You’re really not going to find a more accessible and date-friendly atmosphere anywhere else. And it works too. More than 34% of couples who got married between 2005 and 2012 met online. I know it can be intimidating to choose a dating site without really knowing what you’re signing up for, but you can do some research to set yourself up for success. To start with, you should read reviews like these on DatingAdvice.com to find a dating site with a good reputation. Maybe you have joined a dating site but things didn’t work out. Maybe you gave up when your inbox didn’t immediately fill up with matches and messages. If that’s the case, you may want to try joining a different dating site or upgrading your profile to get a better experience. You may also want to bone up on first-date hacks to help you make a great first impression on your online matches. You dislike going out & make excuses to stay in This is so me.
I’m so introverted that I’ll choose a 1,000-piece puzzle over a first date any day of the week. Enjoying some Me Time is your prerogative, and it’s important to remember to take care of yourself first. But sitting at home alone isn’t the best dating strategy. Even online daters, at some point, have to get out there and actually talk to people in real life to make a connection. Staying in your pajamas at home is basically choosing to be single — because your ideal match isn’t going to come knocking on your door! You’re married to your career & never seem to make time for dates I know a lot of people in this category. These successful 20-somethings or 30-somethings spent their youth buried in books and filling their calendars with classes, internships, and part-time jobs. Now they’ve gotten their dream jobs, and they spend their Saturday nights catching up on work. These singles are often a great catch — financially stable, ambitious, and responsible — but they don’t make time to meet new people. Single workaholics choose to prioritize their careers over their personal lives, and they pay a price for that. They pass up opportunities to go out to a bar because they have a deadline to meet. They avoid online dating because it takes too much effort. If your goal is to be married, and you’re ready to meet someone, you have to clear time in your schedule and make it happen with the same commitment you pursue your career. Check out these online dating guidelines if you want to get more efficient at making a match and finding date-worthy folks in your spare time. You have unrealistic or outright impossible expectations Honestly, I didn’t really know why my love life stalled in my early 20s until years later. It took me a while to recognize that my single status was partly down to my own unrealistic expectations.
Growing up, I’d never had to work to get a guy to fall for me, and so I was under the impression that I shouldn’t have to put any effort into a romance. Relationships were something that would just happen around me. It sounds awful, but that’s what I thought, and my stubborn inaction caused me to stay single longer than I would’ve liked. Having unrealistic expectations or impossibly high standards can hold a lot of singles back from getting into a good relationship that may be a little flawed or may take a little effort. Don’t get me wrong, having standards is absolutely necessary in the dating scene — but looking at dating with an all-or-nothing attitude is a pretty good way to end up with nothing. Did I choose to stay single? Of course not! But I did choose to make it harder for myself to get in a relationship. I did choose to value my independence above everything else. And, ultimately, that’s not something I regret. The only thing I regret is not taking ownership of my life when questioned by my family. If I could go back to that Thanksgiving table, I’d flat out tell my aunts and uncles, “I’m single because that’s the way I like it.” Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating, Tips & Advice Tagged in: being single, dating advice, single Credit: Gloss Photography Studio We just kinda publish articles all day here, at the Urban Dater. But For the last however many years it’s been, we’ve just featured a picture of a city or a male/female couple on our Twitter Header image.
We COULD do better, but we’re lazy. Today, Saturday, we’d like to change that. So we’re asking our followers, friends and readers to submit a couple-y photo of you and your significant other that we post up on the Urban Dater’s Twitter Header image. Why? I guess because I’m in love with being in love, so friend told me not too long ago. Maybe that’s true, in any case I’d love to post a new photo that isn’t a stock photo. Guidelines: – You can be married, or you don’t have identify your life with your partner as anything; heck, you don’t even have to be in love with them. But you do need to love them; they need to be your “boo.” – No blatant nudity (although, if you send it we may keep for our private collection). I expect you guys to use your common sense here. Tasteful nudes, are cool, if you’re going to go the more risqué route. – An urban/city setting for your photo is great, but not necessary – Photo should be landscape NOT portrait – Submit a note about you people, as a couple. Write what you want, but I want to know what makes you, you.
Think of it as a love letter to the world; to your significant other. We’ll publish it on the Urban Dater, even if we don’t select your photo… possibly—not a guarantee. We’d like to know a little bit about the people we’re posting photos of. To Submit Your Image: – Tweet @theurbandater a link to your photo, with #love in the tweet. Things to note: – Because I’m lunatic af, I will crop most of your face out of the photos. Why? I’ve always cropped out most of people’s faces—if not completely—that I use for the Urban Dater creative. Love, in my mind, is a glimpse into these micro-instances where we forget all that we have learned, read, observed, and we are allowed to be in that instance, that moment, free. Free from judgement; free from analysis; free from insecurity; free from fear… How does that translate into cropping your beautiful faces out? You’ll have to find your own answer, slugger. – Your photo may be up for a year, a month, a day… we decide. If your photo isn’t initially selected, know that it may be later… I probably won’t notify you if it is. Deal with it. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook5Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Announcements, Asides Love.
The most mysterious of things. We tend to want to see it like magic, some type of trick or power that we can’t quite understand. To a certain degree love IS magical. To this day, scientists are far from fully understanding the inner workings of the human brain, so it’s not too surprising then that love has somewhat of an unknown facet to it, kind of like the dark side of the moon. However, there is some science to falling in love. I stumbled upon a tweet the other day, where Hayley Quinn, a great dating coach I follow, talks about falling in love in a video featured in the London Real. Why Real Dating Advice Starts With Understanding Yourself, Not Changing Yourself @HayleyQuinn http://t.co/DkaMgnvBY9 — London Real (@LondonRealTV) March 3, 2015 /**/ /**/ In the video she talks about a study that was done by Dr Arthur Aron in 1997: “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness.”. The study’s aim was to find out if love can be induced, if you can make two people fall in love. What did it conclude? Yes we can. We do not “fall” in love. We create it. Love doesn’t happen to us.
We set the stage, create the right conditions for it to take place. The question really is: How do we create it? How do you make him/her fall in love with you? Let’s find out. Rapport The 1997 study had two parts to it. The first one consisted in 36 questions that both participants were to ask each other. These 36 questions started off being innocuous, such as: “Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?” But the more you progressed down the list, the more personal, the more intimate they became. Example: Question 21: “What roles do love and affection play in your life?” Basically, through a series of comfort-like questions it was assumed the participants would start to feel some intimacy developing between each other. The results?
Let’s see what Mandy Ken Catron, someone who tried the experiment and talks about it in a New York Times article had to say about it: “The questions reminded me of the infamous boiling frog experiment in which the frog doesn’t feel the water getting hotter until it’s too late. With us, because the level of vulnerability increased gradually, I didn’t notice we had entered intimate territory until we were already there, a process that can typically take weeks or months.” It seems strange at first glance, but when you take a second to think about it, it makes sense. You won’t get to know someone on a deep level by talking about last week’s episode of The Biggest Loser, but that question can relax you, put you at easy and facilitate more personal questions that tap into fears, dreams and insecurities.